i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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