do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Randomize
