You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
