people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
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