Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Randomize
