I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Actions speak louder than pants.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize