Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize