And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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