I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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