did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
