last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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