Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
