Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
