Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
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