I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Randomize
