But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I want to be your penis for a week.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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