Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
