Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
