I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
