So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
