So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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