This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
