as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
