Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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