Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
