No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
