After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Randomize
