I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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