he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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