Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
