It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
