it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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