I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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