Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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