i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Last time i carry you out of a forest
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
