I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
