Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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