I think I won the penis lottery.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Every concussion has its silver lining
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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