good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
