Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Is it because I queefed?
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize