Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
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