I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
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