Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Randomize