i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
