she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I'm bleeding and have questions
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
