Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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