Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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