1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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