I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
