She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
