Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize