are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
