it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize