I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
