That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
