IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
