When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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