Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Randomize
