I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
