You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
