some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
