I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
