I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
