someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
