I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
